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Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Me, my insecurities and I

Since setting up my little space on the good old internet, I have let go of things that had got me down and were holding me back. Personal posts are one of my favourite things to write and even read. Don't get me wrong, they are proper hard to write and even harder to publish but I like to express myself as well as reading about other people's opinions on areas that may or may not affect me. They makes us human.
From my bullying experience to liking myself to many others, I have come along way since my first ever post but I still have a lot of insecurities.


I don't know why I thought this might work, but I thought that by writing -typing- them down, it would kinda help me focus on them and seeing if I can overcome them.

Due to this, I have come up with this honest list of my insecurities...

  1. No one likes you and everyone you love will leave you because that's what always happens.
  2. Because your dad left and was pretty non existent for most of your life and you were bullied by your own brother, you are going to have very difficult trust issues, with men in particular, as you don't want to get hurt even more than you have been.
  3. You have never had a serious boyfriend in your 22 years of living therefore you are going to be single and alone forever. No one will love you.
  4. The boy you like won't like you back because well, look at you. Who wants to date an ugly, fat girl. Plus the fact you cannot talk to him so who are you trying to kid?
  5. That person who just complimented you is just being nice, they didn't mean it, why would they think that about you.
  6. You are fat so you don't deserve that pretty clothing as it will look horrendous on you, stick to baggy clothing to hide your body. Also, that's probably why you have never had a boyfriend.
  7. The reason why they are all staring at you is because you are ugly and your makeup cannot hide that and you shouldn't be wearing what you have on so stop trying.
These thoughts still get inside my head and even though I have gained so much confidence in the last year alone, they are there. And if I am honest, they probably will always be there.
However, they can pretty much piss off now because I am done with feeling and thinking like that.
 
Well there you have it, my insecurities!
Until next time
 
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All photographs my own! 

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