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Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Catching feelings

Ahhh my favourite day of the year... Valentine's Day! Yeyyyyyyyy...... [crying because forever single]. Today I am going to be talking about the wonderful and 'oh my god what is this' world of feelings. Oh how I have a love hate relationship with them.

The feeling like you have just bossed that exam/interview, the feeling when you realise your favourite season is just around the corner, the feeling when you start to fancy the pants off someone and you have no idea what is life and how to act because of it and sheer panic comes into play. We have all been there.


Feelings are a funny thing really if we think about them. We can be happy one minute, sad the next, angry another and relaxed after. I dunno, I just find them all weird and confusing. But when I start to develop feelings for another human being, that's when I really get confused.

Now I'm no flirt at all, as some of you who maybe reading this will know, like I cannot flirt to save me life. I might give it a good go [God loves a trier guys] but apart from that, that is all you are getting. But in all seriousness, how the hell do you tell someone you have feelings for them?!

I literally have no idea where this post is going to go, I will admit that, but I am just going to write down everything I am thinking so this will either be good and relatable or proper cringy [I am betting the latter]. Plus it is Valentine's Day and today is all about that love ain't it so here we are!
A little briefing into my crushes history [story time kids].
I have a crush on practically most people [especially if your name is Colin and your surname Morgan and you're an actor from Ireland] but I have only really fancied two people in my 22 years of existing but like proper fancied them.
Only a handful of people know this, not including the two guys so this might be fun if they are reading this but they won't be reading my blog so it is allll goooooooood.
Anyway...
The first was a childhood friend and there was always this will they/wont they thing surrounding us. We didn't and I will always kinda regret that in a way as he was my first love but I am happy to still have him in my life so that makes is all a-ok!
The second guy was in my shorthand class that I studied last year as an extra to my uni degree. The funny thing with him is that I only talked to him once or twice and I didn't really know him.
Yet, I still caught the feels didn't I?!?!??!

I can catch feelings really quickly for someone but it ain't like no Disney film that's for sure. No love at first sight, them falling in love with me and sweeping me off my feet.
If life was that easy?!!?!!!
I start really liking them, having the urge to talk to them 24/7 [but I don't], get annoyed when they don't reply to me but the worst thing I do is come up with little blooming non existent [and won't become existent] scenarios where we are together talking or going on a cute date or whatever.
LIKE WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!
Please say I am not the only one who does this crap though, like surely I'm not????
I know these aren't going to happen and become real life but I suddenly just start doing it when I like someone.

Like I said before, I am not a flirt so it isn't obvious that I might like you and I do put things into perspective with these kinda situations and the likelihood of realness but it still doesn't stop me.
In this sense, I can appear to be heartless/very sarcastic, hating lovey dovey things [which I do to a certain degree] and I am probably going to be single forever [which honestly doesn't bother me] but on the other hand, when I start developing feelings for someone, I go all shy, red in the face, cannot talk to them or even make eye contact and it is utterly embarrassing how bad I can get.

Like why can't I just be normal and talk to guys without either going all shy or turning into a sarcastic bitch like there is noooo in between.
 
And it doesn't even stop there. When I fancied the guy in my shorthand class, I would dress all nice and make myself look pretty for him.... FOR HIM?!?!?!?!?!!? WHAT THE....!!!!!
He probably didn't even notice but why the hell did I do that, honestly how cringy!
I would also post a selfie on social media in hope they will see it as well!
Like my god Caroline, pipe the hell down, it ain't never gonna happen mate!!!

I dunno what this post is and what I even am, I guess it is nice to have a guy say lovely things about me and/or actually talk to me, it is very rare for that to happen so thank you!
But honestly, I need to stopped when it comes to catching feelings for someone so don't talk to me ok? Okay haha!
Until next time 
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All photographs my own! 

2 comments:

  1. This was a really relatable post and great to read 😂 The thing is, it's not the catching feelings part that I find difficult, it's the losing of them that I find terribly long and hard 😩 But that's life !
    SimplyJessyTee.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you, I am glad you enjoyed reading it! And I do have a post about losing feelings as I, too, find it difficult! x

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