http://youcancallmecaz.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/about-this-blog.html http://youcancallmecaz.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/contact.html  http://youcancallmecaz.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/disclaimer.html http://youcancallmecaz.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/featured.html

Thursday, 19 January 2017

The feeling of being lonely

A personal post today and it is on a topic that I think everyone could probably relate to. Loneliness.

This post has been in my drafts section for a few months now, I was on the fence about sharing it. Plus the fact I didn't have a photo to go with it, but I saw another blogger, Sally, from Little Budget, tweet a Twitter Poll about one she did on the topic and it kinda gave me that little push to actually publish it so thank you Sally and I do hope you publish your one soon as well!
.

Everyone will probably and probably already has gone through feeling lonely at some time in their life. I have felt like this most of my lifetime. But here is a secret for you all. It is ok to feel lonely and this is why.

So here is 'The feeling of being lonely'...

Loneliness is something we all probably go through in our lives. Whether it is when we are young, in our 30s, 50s or when we are elderly, the feeling of being lonely is one horrible feeling. But, like I said, everyone goes through it.
 
I am 22 years old now, never really had a serious relationship and well, I am lonely.
I am not ashamed to admit that. I was but not no more!
 
When I was younger, and when I was being bullied, I didn't tell anyone as I felt that I would just be burdening them with all of my crap when they had theirs to deal with. This made me feel lonely, like I had no one to turn to in my time of need. It is not like there was no one there, because there was, it was because I was scared to go to them, which, in turn, made me push them away.
 
It is hard when you feel like you are the only person around, when everyone is doing something with other people and not you or when you see photos/statuses of them out with their partners, it does get to me. I will admit that, I am not here to sugar coat anything. I am envious because I want that. I want a relationship and I want to have someone and I want to do more things with my friends and go exploring with them and tell them things etc. But I can't. Out of the pure fear that in the future they will leave and I wont have them anymore.
 
It is weird going from it only being you, yourself and I to having someone there to tell things to and to have a cry to. I used to sit in my room, in utter silence and just think about everything and get upset due to the crippling pain and hurt I felt.
I would act all funny and confident around friends so they wouldn't get onto the fact that I was feeling alone. I would put on a front but inside would be hurting and feeling like nobody truly liked me and that they all just felt sorry for me.

But this isn't the case. In later life (yeah, I know 22 isn't old but let's just roll with it), you really see who is there for you and who has your back.
You see a side of yourself that begins to be able to open up more about issues and things getting you down. Most importantly, you aren't ashamed of what you are feeling and you aren't ashamed of feeling lonely.
 
The feeling of being lonely is a funny one. You feel like it is just you inside this bubble, trapped with only your own thoughts and feelings. That everyone is just being nice to you for the sake of being nice and that no one will ever truly like/love you but it not the case at all.
 
If there is anything, anything at all, you take away from me waffling on in this post, I really do hope it is this. That you are never lonely, you never have and you never will. Even in the darkest of times, when you feel so alone, you aren't. There are people out there who love you and care for you no matter what you are feeling and that lonely feeling is just that, a feeling!
 
There you have it, the feeling of being lonely.
Until next time
-------------------------------------
All photographs my own! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...