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Thursday, 25 September 2014

Don't worry about a thing

This post will be on a number of different things that you might experience in your life.
Stress, depression/sadness, hate, anxiety and fear are some of the things I have personally experienced during my teenage years and some of the things you may/have felt too.


So to help you (hopefully), I am going to be writing about how they affected me and how I coped with it.

Note I am basing this post on my own experience and if you are worried about yourself or someone you know then please go talk to someone and to your doctor.

Stress

If you know my personally than you will know how stressed out I can get over a small thing.

During secondary school I found it really hard to handle my stress control. From exams, homework to coursework etc, I found it really difficult to cope. Whilst I was learning and revising for my GCSEs, I would never leave the house when I came in from school or during the weekend hardly. This was mainly because I was so freaked out by the amount of work I had to do. I literally had no social life because I just shut myself in my room. I know that I wasn't the only student that was stressed but it reached the point were I would sit at my desk crying into my work thinking "I cant do this anymore". This was the first time I had ever been so stressed.

Moving onto when I was at college, studying for my A Levels. Don't get me wrong, other pupils were studying a lot more subjects to me but the amount of work I had to do for the three I picked (Media Studies, History and English Language) just broke me again. Essays were becoming more and more difficult and if you know me personally then you will know I cannot write an essay to save my life. I had to stay behind after school in History to learn how to write an essay properly and got given even more to write. I hated it but I knew I had to do it to get into university. Stress was ruining my life.


It affects everyone and coping with it can be hard. When I did get my A Level results I burst into tears because I didn't get into the university I wanted. This was mainly down to the stress caused from the work and the stress I caused by stressing out about the work.
However, now I am at university, studying a course which I love, and although there is still a lot of work to complete, I have learned from my past experience and here is how I cope with stressful situations now:

  1. Do one piece of work at a time

    One of the main reasons why I was so stressed out was because I wanted to every single piece of work at once. I would sit in my bedroom for hours trying to do everything in one night and you just can't do that. You have to give yourself a break, a time to relax. Whether it is just watching a bit of TV, reading a book going out with your friends or hanging out with your family, you need to space to clear your mind. You get a lot more done with a clear and relaxed brain.
  2. Having the energy

    Eat food that will give you energy to do the work. This can vary from fruits (like bananas), porridge, eggs, whole grain cereal and others. Make sure you are also drinking plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated. Again take the time to distress by chilling out for a bit.
  3. Organise your days

    Set out days and time periods where you are going to do some work and have a chill out time. Basically, like a timetable you would use at school but for when you're at home instead. Leave one day completely free from work, I usually alternate between Saturdays and Sundays. This gives you a set time/deadline to get things done and ready for school/college/uni/work. This will also make you become organised, which is a great skill to have.
     
  4. Have fun

    I know this may be difficult since it is work but if you make it fun whilst learning at the same time, it is the best thing to do. Playing music quietly in the background or doing it with a friend/family member will make it more enjoyable than you just sitting on your own.

Depression/Sadness

Depression is slowly rising in the UK with people at any age. Although I have not been diagnosed with depression, I have felt that there is no point in living anymore. I was in a really dark place.

I am good at giving out advice to my friends if they need anything because they know I am always there for them but when it comes to me, I don't tend to tell anyone anything. I didn't want to make a fuss over something stupid as I knew they had their own problems so didn't need mine. This doesn't work. Tell them. If they don't care or say 'that's not my problem' or just don't help etc then you don't need them and they weren't really your friend if they do say something like that.

Some of the things that have helped me get through are:

  1. Be more active

    One way of dealing with my feelings was to eat, which made me become so unhappy I hardly left the house. Now, I am trying to lose weight by eating healthy and doing more exercise. I have also started doing more with friends and family and just by getting out of the house as you do start to feel better because you are socialising with people.
  2. Be aware of alcohol consumption

    I don't drink alcohol. I think I have only had about 10 bottles or glasses of alcohol in my life. If that makes me boring then I don't care. However, some people consume it to deal/handle their problem and it wont. Simple as that. It wont solve anything. In my opinion it makes it will probably make it worse, that's why I don't drink it.
  3. Tell someone

    Tell anyone. Friends, family, a work colleague, a teacher or your GP if you feel like you may have depression. Have a shoulder to cry on. It helps you get all of your emotions out so you aren't keeping them hidden away. It releases everything you feel locked up inside you.
Note: if you still feel the same way after a couple of weeks see your GP if you haven't already!!!



Hatred

During my teenage years, I felt a lot of hatred towards certain people. This was mainly because they bullied me. I use to smile a lot so they didn't know that they were effecting me inside but it was just a façade.



However, looking back now I finally realise that they were only doing it because they feel insecure themselves therefore took me down with them or because they had nothing better to do and thought it was 'cool' to bully someone. Pathetic, I know! But without them I wouldn't be the person I am today, which is weird. I may still feel some disliking towards a couple of people like my brother because he was the worst bully of them all but I am over them. I don't let them get me down and I am passed the hating.

If you feel any hate or even a hit of dislike to anyone then just ignore them. I know it is hard, I have been there but they really aren't worth your time and energy. It is easier to hate someone then to love them but loving someone gives you more positives in life. As the saying goes, make peace not war.
Also, tell someone. Do not hold your feelings back, just let it all go because you feel so much better getting it out.
Finally, just be you because believe me, you are perfect.

Anxiety


When it comes to anything (an exam, interviews or even a social event) I get anxious like a lot of people do. If I don't know anyone there or if it is a one-on-one situation I get really nervous due to self confidence issues. This is what we call 'social anxiety'.


Now, I know that I don't get it as bad as others but it really does stop you doing certain things. I hate answer/using the telephone, meeting strangers (once I get to know them then its fine), going out and eating/drinking in front of people. I am really self conscious.

Some of the ways that have helped me deal with my social anxiety:
  1. Just be yourself

    It might seem hard to do but just be you. If people don't like you for you then you don't need them in your life. They are missing out on what could have been a friendship.
  2. Talk to someone

    By talking to a close friend, family member or someone you trust, it helps you overcome some of the anxiety. Always remember that you are NOT alone.
  3. Role-play

    It might sound stupid but roleplaying helped a lot. By pretending to pick up a phone/making a phone call or slowly eating more food in front of people, it gives you the confidence you need.

Fear

I don't have a lot of fears. However, thinking about people and what they fear makes me intrigued to say the least.

One of the main fears I have is that I always fear the worst will happen. I don't know why or how I think this but I've thought this for about one and a half years ish now. I should say I don't think it will for mainly situations.


However I don't let my fear ruin my life and you shouldn't too. If something happens, it does whether its for a reason or not. You have to stop thinking that the worst will happen and just concentrate on what is happening around you. Let it be.

Some tips for you to overcome your fear:
  1. Relax

    If you feel panicky, confused or stressed etc then take a time out. Distract yourself for 20 minutes and don't think about it.  If you feel dizzy or have sweaty palms then stay where you are and let it pass. Keep calm.
  2. Exposure

    To conquer a fear you must embrace it and to embrace the fear you must exposure yourself to it. Avoiding them can make it scarier than it actually is. You can't avoid it forever.
  3. Talk about it

    Like with all of the other things mentioned in this post, talking is one of the key things to do. If you don't then it will never go away and it will always be on your mind.

In the words of Clara from Doctor Who, fear is a superpower.

Well that is it! I hope it has helped you in some way or another.
Until next time
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All photographs are my own!
 
 
 
 
 


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