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Sunday, 6 July 2014

All you need is love

For my next post I wanted to write about something that intrigues me. Love.


 
 
Love in general is becoming more and more publicised about. You can read it in books/magazines, see it on the television, watch it in a film/play, listen to it in songs or discover it in a poem. You can pretty much find it anywhere and this is what intrigues me about it. Although you cannot physically see it, how do you feel it, when do you know you feel it and why do people fall for the concept of being in love?

So here is 'Lifestyle| All you need is love'...

I am 19 now and my future is a big part of my life. What career I want, where I want to go and if I want to get married and have children or adopt etc. It is a huge deal to me.

My relationship history is pretty simple. I have never been in a serious relationship before. My first kiss was when I was in Year 6. I have only had one boyfriend and have been asked out one other time but rejected him (something in which I kind of regret).
Don't get me wrong, I am happy being single. If you know me personally then you know I don't like 'pulling' men at clubs/bars. That just isn't me as I am more of 'a boy asks girl out' girl when it comes to relationships. However, I do want to be in love and to be loved at some point in my life, whether it is now or in years to come.




But how do I, or you for that matter, know if your in love or not? Could we experience 'love at first sight' like they do in movies? Or is it that tingling butterfly feeling in your stomach when you see the person you fancy? Or do you know when you cannot stop thinking about that one special person? Finally, who should make the first move, the boy or the girl? These are all questions that make me wonder. However, the most important question for me is: what is real love and what is just fictional love?

Like I said before, we hear/see that four letter word everywhere. You will read about it in a gossip magazine, either it being a wedding, a new couple on the scene or even a divorce. In nearly every film you watch, the boy gets the girl in the end or it was love at first sight then something bad happens but of course love conquers all, including evil. Take Disney films, this structure happens all the time but is it giving its audience (young children mainly) an unrealistic approach to love?
However, do they fall in love with the person's looks or for the actual person themselves. Falling in love or just being in a relationship with someone, in my eyes, means that you want to be with them not purely on they way that they look/dress but for their personality too. Lets face it, if you are dating someone because they look 'hot' then the relationship isn't really going to go very far. So let me ask you, what is more important to you, the looks or the personality?


However, it is not doom and gloom for all relationships. Some relationships last for years, even a lifetime. So what is their secret? Trusting each other, not cheating, commitment, happiness, communication, accepting each other, giving each other space? Or is it simply because they love and care about each other and their needs?

In music industry, sex and relationships are huge things to sing about. In todays society, artists mainly sing about sex and one night stands etc. However, some sing about love, from Jason Mraz and Coldplay to the all time classic love songs from Whitney Houston and The Beatles.

A recent song that made me think and change my perception of love is  'All of Me' by John Legend. If you listen to the lyrics, he sings about loving someone no matter what, including their looks and past. The song also made me realise that just because you have a fight/argument then your love for each other should get you through anything- a cuddle and make up kind of solution. Surely if that person makes you happy and you make them happy, then it should be enough. Well, that's the idea anyway!



But what do you do if you are in a long distance relationship. Surely, it is harder than a short distance one. I mean, if you are both happy then fantastic but what do you do if you have an argument. Due to the fact that the couple may not talk to each other via webcam or mobile phones, it would be harder to 'make up' because you can't hug it out or what not. Most rely purely on technology to say 'sorry' or to just communicate to each other so can it really be love?

I was watching a television programme the other day called 'Catfish: The TV Show', where basically the two hosts, Nev and Max, go round America helping people who are in an online relationship, who have never met in real life (not even via webcam) and they get the couple to meet in person. Don't get me wrong, in some of the episodes the couple in 'love' were telling the truth and continued their relationships after the show. However, most of the time one or both of them were lying. This varied from their name, age, where they lived, occupation and their appearance etc. What I don't get is the fact that both of them said to each other that they loved them but they were lying about things at the same time.




Taking this into account, if you are in a long distance relationship and you have never met, then how do you know they are telling you the truth? Trust is a big part in anyone life and relationships. People can easily get hurt from even one small lie but that lie may have a lasting effect on your relationship.
On the other hand, if you are in a long distance relationship and you don't lie or cheat and you do make each other happy then I am happy for you.


Moving onto the word being used in todays society. In my opinion, the four letter word is used far too often but not enough in some cases. Let me explain myself.
You are in a relationship and your partner tells you that they love you, do they mean it? Are they just saying it so they can get out of something or if you've just had an argument? Of course, they may actually mean it.
Then again, what if you are not in a relationship but you think that you love someone but you just can't tell them because you are scared of rejection or that they may not feel it back. It is the same if you are with someone, the word may not be even said, although you feel it and you mean it.

If you do find love then you are one of the lucky ones. Nowadays people don't say it, either due to past experiences of getting hurt or they may not feel it yet, you cannot make/push them into loving you. That's not how it works. It does takes time but surely if you love them then that time is worth it just to hear them say it for the very first time.

The most important person to love is yourself. You have to accept you before anyone else can. If you don't then they may always be a chance that you don't believe someone if they tell you they like/love you. You might even reject being in a relationship because you think you don't deserve it. Don't be one of those people who looks at other couples and thinks 'I don't deserve to be that happy' because believe me, you do. Accept and believe in yourself then who knows who could be around the corner.



The concept of love is a tricky one to grasp. Relationships are hard but what really matters is that you care the person and you make them happy and vice versa. With the media publishing stories about celebrity couples and films/TV portraying it in a fictional way, in realty finding love and holding onto it will be difficult but it will be worth it if you are lucky enough to find it. That is what everyone deserves, to find love and to feel love.

Until next time
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All photographs are my own!

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